Wednesday, May 20, 2009

And I'm thankful for this?!

Just to be fair, I will warn you this blog is about throwing up. If you don't want to read about it, I don't blame you, and stop now. ;-)

Typically, vomiting is not a gratitude-inducing event. But today, as the toilet and I were making friends once again (it had been a couple of weeks), the thoughts going through my head were all ones of gratitude. The irony of it was significant enough for me, that I decided it needed a blog.

Jilly had been playing in the bathtub while I was online, blog surfing. All too soon, I felt that familiar feeling. I started fanning my growing-hotter-by-the-second face, hoping it would ward off what I knew was ultimately inevitable. Yeah, it didn't work and I took off running for the bathroom. As I sat there on the floor making all sorts of disgusting noises, Jilly started laughing. Like, giggling! She thought what was going on was funny!! That led me to Grateful Thought #1: I am grateful that seeing her mama throw up doesn't scare or upset her. It's just a funny noise (and sight, I am sure) to her. I can only imagine how much harder being pregnant and sick would be, if witnessing that freaked her out.

After a minute, I realized that it wasn't going to be as bad as I thought and probably wouldn't involve greeting my lunch again. Thus, Grateful Thought #2: My food had digested and left my stomach, so I was only dry heaving. Granted, it was probably the fact that there was no solid food in my stomach that was causing me to be in this position in the first place. But I didn't care, because I don't mind having to go through that, as long as there is no actual food returning.

Even though, I stayed on the floor, with my stomach performing amazing contortions, for a few more minutes, I noticed that something else I had expected to happen hadn't. And last but not least Grateful Thought #3: Even though my bladder was not empty, I managed to control it and NOT make a puddle on the floor. This has been something I've dealt with during this pregnancy that I've really hated. Since about 4 months along, if I was throwing up or even coughing, and I hadn't just gone to the bathroom, I could be sure that there would be liquid escaping from both ends of my body. Sometimes it was only a little bit, sometimes a bigger mess. It really has bothered me that my muscles just aren't strong enough to hold that particular sphincter shut. But today, it didn't happen.

So here I am feeling just fine now (typical) but still pretty surprised that I all I could think during the episode itself was how grateful I was for those little mercies. I think I needed to be reminded of something to be grateful for, as I am totally hitting "the wall", both physically and emotionally at the end of pregnancy. I am pretty much always uncomfortable or in pain (heartburn, outgrown most of my clothes, back aches, etc and so forth) and starting to get really nervous about actually having a second child. Some days I am going nuts with just one, how in the heck am I supposed to handle two?! And why again did I ask for this? Poor Steve (and pretty much everyone around me) has had to listen to lengthy complaints from me (I'm not a pleasant pregnant lady for the most part) all the time lately. I appreciate their patience with me. And I am glad I was reminded that even though I am uncomfortable and somewhat scared about this whole thing, I have lots to be grateful for! Even if it is as simple as not peeing my pants while throwing up. ;-)


HollySteffen said...

I loved this post and your honesty. <3

Morgan said...

Only a few more weeks!!! Hang in there!

Sariah in Vancouver said...

Is it wrong for me to laugh a little? I love you Aimee! I'm so glad you see the positive in things like puking. lol

I miss you. :)