Kayla: The Unauthorized Version

If Jack Bauer could be pregnant and deliver a baby (and lets face it: if his country needed it, he could), it would pretty closely resemble how Aimee delivered Kayla (read the entry below for details).

Jack Bauer Aimee after nearly ten months of torture

Aimee gave the story of Kayla's birth, so I thought I'd share the story of her conception. Kayla's mortal journey began roughly after this happened:

Pictured: People notified of a wife left bored at home in Lynnwood, WA

But enough inappropriate inside jokes. When the midwife arrived, a half hour after Aimee did her job for her, she mentioned that this was a feather in my cap. But to be clear, I did nothing. I answered/made phone calls, got some towels and sheets, and later mopped, making me the secretary-janitor of this birth. Aimee refused my offer to call EMTs, like Allen Iverson waving off a would-be screener so he could demolish his competition solo. Many of you have not actually seen what it looks like when the water breaks, but I'll describe it in one term: Sci-Fi.

When I called the midwife to tell her she needed to redirect to our place, she gave me all these instructions to relay to Aimee, but I didn't bother. Did Ryan Chapelle or Bill Buchanan ever really need to tell Jack Bauer what to do? Heeeeeeeeeeeelllll naw. After we got Aimee laid down, I asked her if she wanted me to take some crime scene photos (she declined). That may seem crazy for me to ask, but there was one picture from Jason's home birth that I was surprised she published.

She curled her hair before the birth

Needless to say, Aimee is awesome and has given me three awesome kids. And now a photo gallery.

Before

After

Already posing

Another reason to have kids: they can babysit each other

See above