Woodchucks have infested my home

Did I give birth to a woodchuck or a human? I thought it was a human. She's looked, smelled and sounded like a human for the past year. She even mostly acted like a human, but lately, I'm getting the feeling she's really a woodchuck. I've been finding suspicious markings on her crib, like this:



I expected some teeth marks, she has been teething afterall and the crib is a convenient place to chew. But to pull off chunks of the wood like that? Who does that? Woodchucks. That's who. Here's the woodchuck's eye view:



I tried to get plastic crib rail guards, to protect her from the crib and the crib from her. What happened to that idea you ask? She pulled them off!! Little turdface, would pull them off one at a time, and either throw them on the floor or cuddle up with them in her bed. Well, I guess it's a good thing we plan on keeping this crib for a long while (it turns into a toddler bed, then double bed) so she'll always get to admire her handiwork. (Mouthiwork?)

Here's the evil woodchuck baby herself, horrendously pleased with herself:



Well, the verdict is in: It's a woodchuck! ;-) No, really, I have a crazy baby, but you hold a grudge against such a cute face!